Monday, October 21, 2013

Emergency Transfer

This week has been pretty rough. Ive been struggling with feelings of inadequacy and perfection. Ive always been some-what of a perfectionist, I never feel like Im doing enough or reaching my potential. It's really hard in the mission field as we try not to measure our success to that of other missionaries. Struggling with these feelings we ended up having a Zone Conference about how President Kendrick is worries because performance level in the entire mission has gone downhill. So then I just felt even worse haha But it's okay, just keep swimming!
 
We had a lesson with R at a member's home and watched Finding Faith in Christ. Something beautiful that I just realized watching it that night was that many times, BEFORE Christ would heal someone, He would ask them if they believed. Faith is the first principle of the gospel for a reason. Without faith we don't have the power to do anything. But with faith we have power to do anything by the will of the Lord. One of my favorite quotes from conference, :Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith"
 
The one day we planned a "car fast" to save on our miles, it rained. It never rains in California! So we went, step by step, walking for 3 hours in the cold rain doin our missionary thing. I didnt think it would stay rainy and cold so I wasn't dressed appropriately. Freezing! But it was worth it, we met lots of cool people to share the gospel with. :)
 
We went with a recent convert to help a less-active family move some furniture. That was fun! We thought we were taking this big entertainment center out of this little trailer until hermano got a hammer and just started whacking at it and tearing it apart piece by piece. Hahahaha On the drive home we saw a man on the side of the road, dead in a pile of blood... Dont know what happened but if we had been just 5 minutes earlier, it would have been us to find him there. :/
 
So we've been doing this thing called a Harvest Blessing where you offer contacts or door approaches a blessing on their home. We got a return appointment, went back and she actually let us in! We taught her the Restoration but Satan intervened and right when we got to Joseph Smith, her husband came home and she kicked us out! :( But then we started knocking the street and someone let us in their home to leave a blessing. She said it's not mormons knocking on my door, it's Jesus Christ. :D So we went in, kneeled with their family and blessed their home. Since Sister dont have the Priesthood, we have to say "By virtue of our calling as missionaries and representative of Jesus Christ..." How powerful is that?! I don't know what I'm going to do when I won't have the authority to just walk in a stranger's home as an authorized representative of our Lord Jesus Christ. It's such a privilege and blessing to be a missionary!
 
We had a lesson with the R family that I've been working with a lot because of how similar our family situations are. We're trying to help hermano advance in the priesthood. He told us it's because he doesn't have enough money to pay his tithing and he owes like $12000 or something. I testified to him about the miracles my family and I have seen and promised him if he would pay his tithing FIRST, he would have enough money for everything he needed. He just looked me in the eyes and said okay, help me. How much do I pay? So powerful.
 
The other Hermanas had a baptism on Friday night. R came but he was like "ive never done this before, Im missing Mexico playing soccer for a baptism. I made the right choice." hahaha It was a beautiful baptism!
R had his baptismal interview and passed! He's soooo ready! I'm stoked!
 
I found out on Sunday that I'm being emergency transferred. Broke my heart. I cried and cried. But I sucked it up long enough to keep working. I don't know how but those are the times when I know there are guardian angels all around to lift us up. I had to say goodbye to R but he said "Don't worry Hermana. We're under the same God and in the same church. you're in my prayers that all will go well in your mission and go with happiness in God, bringing people to our holy Gospel and God will protect and bless you." Greatest soon-to-be-convert ever!
Saying goodbye to the R family broke my heart too. Hermano shook my hand. looked me in the eyes and said "Thank you. You have helped us so much. If you come visit and we're not here, search for us. You're a part of this family now." His 8 year old son hugged me like 5 times and made me pinky promise to find them. I love them so much. It feels good to know that I have helped so many people. I did what I was sent to Escondido to do. i helped who god sent me here to help. And I know I will do the same in my new area.
 
Yesterday a guy contacted us. We were walking and he called us over asking what we were doing. He asked us to read from the Bible with him. Im still not a pro at the Bible so I was flipping through with no idea what to share. I wanted to use the Book of Mormon somehow but I didn't know how. I've been tabbing my scriptures but it didn't seem to be helping in a time of need in which I didn't know what I needed exactly. I flipped and a page opened to something I had marked and tabbed previously. It was a scripture about how with two or three witnesses my word will be established. Still right now I couldn't tell you the reference. But because I had put in my effort beforehand to study, the Spirit guided my hands to find that scripture so I could introdcued this man to the Book of Mormon. He accepted it and is excited to learn more. YES!!!
 
The mission has it's ups and downs but it's all about learning and growing. I'm so blessed to be here. Every day is so precious.
The church is true!
 
-Hermana Gutknecht


(This is from last week, my modem died so I couldn't update the blog, sorry guys!)

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